Oh yeah, that's right, I'm quoting the song title of a Kelly Clarkson song as the title of my blog:)
So last we talked I was about 3 to 4 weeks quit smoking. I have since relapsed. This is a very emotional journey for me as I have shared in my previous blogs. The response I got from some close to me was surprising. My cheerleaders remained awesome! Others said things like "you sound so angry" "obviously you are grumpy" or "that's life". That sucked. I know this relapse will be disappointing to a lot of you but I am doing my best and that will need to be good enough.
Don't laugh, but I went to a hypnotherapist in the midst of my deepest struggle. She had a lot of wisdom to share. My session didn't make me quit smoking (which was of course the intended result), but it shone a light into the chaos of this struggle. Essentially what I realized is I was going about this backwards. I was starting with the end goal, the destination and trying to work my way backwards. Starting with quitting smoking, and then flailing about trying to work into an exercise routine, good nutrition, and ways to deal with all the smoking triggers. Classic me!
So I realized I needed to visualize my "goal" or destination of quitting smoking and getting healthy and go from there. What that means for me is to implement an exercise routine, focus on nutrition, and stress management/reduction... working my way to quitting smoking and getting healthy. This realization has really boosted my confidence and reduced my stress.
So I am "catching my breath" as Kelly would say. I am gradually increasing my exercise, this week to 5 times per week. I am trying to walk as much as possible during the workday as a stress release instead of immediately turning to smoking. As a family, we are focusing on eating at home. I am going to run my 5K's even though I will need to walk part of them. I am focusing on quiet time, a little bit at a time and trying to improve my prayer life and time spent in bible study. I am succeeding.
By the third week of May I'll be focusing my exercise routine to include all of the necessary elements (i.e. cardio, flexibility, strength) and we will be working on more focused meditation and relaxation techniques as a family. I'll continue my bible study and increase the time I spend for myself in the morning and evening. Finally, I'll be walking a LOT more. We are also really working on prepping and preparing our food, especially fruits and veggies. It is such a hard routine for us to get into but we are getting there!
I'm not setting a timeline on myself this time. I'm guessing it will probably be early summer when I quit for good... After all, this is the year of the Cozarts!
Peace out
a
Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
No More Yes Man (or Woman in this case)....
Something has been really chappin my hide lately and it is time for a change. Heck, it is a season of change for me, yes? No more smoking, going to get healthy, why not add to the mix?! The big change is: No More Yes Man (or Woman in this case).
My grandma always said "if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it." Boy she wasn't kidding. After my years (and years) of non-profit wok, I know that is THE TRUTH. It is always a handful of people in a group that do 99% of the work. But it is more than that in my life....
I always say yes. Yes to my kids. Yes to my friends. Yes to my clients. Yes to my family. Yes to my causes. Yes to the PTA. Yes, yes, yes! The result: an unhealthy stressed out me who couldn't name a hobby or something I do for myself. Not one thing. NOT EVEN SMOKING! (can you tell I'm a little bitter about that?) And if one of you comments about "That's life" or "that's being a mom" I will mentally punch you in your face.
So guess what? NO!!!!!! I'm done. Stick a fork in me, I am totally done. There are those in my life whom are SO GREAT about this, setting boundaries and doing what they can and I admire and ENVY them! My turn!
Let me start this out by saying, there are some of you I will hang the moon for because you are freaking AWESOME and would do anything for me. Some of you already have. Jen Tyler, Amee Tilger, my parents, Jonna Dengate, my partner Shannon, you are my ROCKS. April and Cameron Wiggins, you routinely do AMAZING things for our family (and me) and I love you for it. Amy Ferrell, your FREE Zumba class and your story has inspired me and I thank you so much for it. You all get YES! to whatever you need whenever you need it.
Some of you have been amazing at sending me referral and supporting my business, THANK YOU! I will always do the same for you! My sister, Sara, and Megan Long come to mind but I know there are more of you....
But to the rest of you.... step up. If you want me to buy your kid's girl scout cookies/coupon cards/whatever THEY are selling.... if you want me to attend your business event/charity auction/or countless Pampered Chef/Partylite/whatever the heck it is YOU are selling.... if you want continous free legal advice/a sympathetic ear to listen to your constant life drama/or for me to constantly change my life to accomodate your plans/lack of planning then you better pull up a chair and clear your calendars people because I will be knocking on your door asking for HELP.
Help with Relay team events, a couple of bucks in Relay raffle tickets, forming a team for the CASA Bowl-A-Thon, supporting MY kids fundraisers, whatever it takes. You want from me, you better be willing to give. I don't care if it is $5 or a couple of hours of your time, I'll take it. And if I ask, and you can't give, HAVE SOME RESPECT AND AT LEAST RESPOND. Ignoring me is just plain RUDE.
Sorry, but I have a full time job, a few of them actually, and I can no longer justify taking time away from myself, my family, or my worship to give to those who don't give back. You must earn my time, and like my loyalty, I will be fierce in rewarding those who give to me.
Peace out.
a
My grandma always said "if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it." Boy she wasn't kidding. After my years (and years) of non-profit wok, I know that is THE TRUTH. It is always a handful of people in a group that do 99% of the work. But it is more than that in my life....
I always say yes. Yes to my kids. Yes to my friends. Yes to my clients. Yes to my family. Yes to my causes. Yes to the PTA. Yes, yes, yes! The result: an unhealthy stressed out me who couldn't name a hobby or something I do for myself. Not one thing. NOT EVEN SMOKING! (can you tell I'm a little bitter about that?) And if one of you comments about "That's life" or "that's being a mom" I will mentally punch you in your face.
So guess what? NO!!!!!! I'm done. Stick a fork in me, I am totally done. There are those in my life whom are SO GREAT about this, setting boundaries and doing what they can and I admire and ENVY them! My turn!
Let me start this out by saying, there are some of you I will hang the moon for because you are freaking AWESOME and would do anything for me. Some of you already have. Jen Tyler, Amee Tilger, my parents, Jonna Dengate, my partner Shannon, you are my ROCKS. April and Cameron Wiggins, you routinely do AMAZING things for our family (and me) and I love you for it. Amy Ferrell, your FREE Zumba class and your story has inspired me and I thank you so much for it. You all get YES! to whatever you need whenever you need it.
Some of you have been amazing at sending me referral and supporting my business, THANK YOU! I will always do the same for you! My sister, Sara, and Megan Long come to mind but I know there are more of you....
But to the rest of you.... step up. If you want me to buy your kid's girl scout cookies/coupon cards/whatever THEY are selling.... if you want me to attend your business event/charity auction/or countless Pampered Chef/Partylite/whatever the heck it is YOU are selling.... if you want continous free legal advice/a sympathetic ear to listen to your constant life drama/or for me to constantly change my life to accomodate your plans/lack of planning then you better pull up a chair and clear your calendars people because I will be knocking on your door asking for HELP.
Help with Relay team events, a couple of bucks in Relay raffle tickets, forming a team for the CASA Bowl-A-Thon, supporting MY kids fundraisers, whatever it takes. You want from me, you better be willing to give. I don't care if it is $5 or a couple of hours of your time, I'll take it. And if I ask, and you can't give, HAVE SOME RESPECT AND AT LEAST RESPOND. Ignoring me is just plain RUDE.
Sorry, but I have a full time job, a few of them actually, and I can no longer justify taking time away from myself, my family, or my worship to give to those who don't give back. You must earn my time, and like my loyalty, I will be fierce in rewarding those who give to me.
Peace out.
a
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