Well, as promised, this is me- open, honest and transparent. Some may say "Why?" "Why do you put your business out there like this?" The answer is easy: to help others. And so they can help me. I hope my blogs, my posts will bring joy, inspiration, education, comfort, and be able to help others who face the same things I face/have faced in my life. My ultimate goal in life is for God's light to shine through me.
And I want your help! I want your support, your information and education, your encouragement, your laughter and peace. So feel free to message me or post comments.
I call 2013 the Year of Realization for me because, quite simply, I realized a lot of things this year. About myself, about others, about life.
This year I was diagnosed with a serious health condition. Those that are close, know. If you don't know, don't ask because I won't tell you. It doesn't affect my work but it does affect the rest of my life. I struggled with not letting it define me, this diagnosis, and I won't let it. I struggled with medication and I am on a good path, medically.
I realized, through all of this, that the past twenty years of my life have been spent surviving instead of thriving. Trying to get through life instead of love and live my life. Those of you that have known me for twenty years know some of those years of struggle. Some of you have gotten me through those years. But those years are over now, I have survived.
Throughout survival, I have neglected myself emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. That is one of the biggest realizations I have come to. With the death of a friend late this year I realized just this very thing and that it is time to let go. Let go of the past twenty years of hurts and disappointments, largely in myself. Take the good and move forward to change (which I hate). But 2014 WILL be the year of change.
It is time to begin. Begin caring for myself in all these ways I haven't for so long. To find healthy emotional and mental outlets for stress and anxiety. There are so many things I love to do that are healthy outlets, things that used to define me but have gotten lost in the years of my life. Singing, dancing, walking, being outdoors, writing, reading, photography. All things I plan on doing instead of napping or smoking to get away from it all.
There is an athlete inside of me, I can feel her wanting to burst out. Many of you don't know this about me but I played sports all through school. In high school I let a lot slip, struggling to survive, but still managed to play volleyball and softball. I played basketball for years. But I want to run and I mean RUN. Run all year, run for exercise and sanctuary, just run. I absolutely love Zumba and have been inspired by my instructor, Ms. Amy Ferrell, who is amazing.
This year I also found kickboxing thanks to JP! I love it. I love it because I am drenched in sweat when it is over and I love it because it embodies the fact that I am a FIGHTER. A warrior. Always but more so now than ever.
Spiritually, it is time as well. Time to submerge myself in the Lord, his word and his presence. To surrender both the daily struggles and worries and those of my lifetime to HIM. I have held back from him and it is time to let go of the control I have held so tightly to and give it all to him.
2013 was amazing in so many ways. The birth of a beautiful godbaby Lexi, two new beautiful nieces and nephews (Saya and Caleb), the strength of my marriage reaching higher than I ever thought possible, and, of course, the purchase of our first new and beautiful home. Our firm continues to grow and prosper and I have found the daily best friends and sisters in Jonna and Shannon. They love me no matter what and they watch out for me in a way that my actual big sister cannot. My actual big sister, Sheiska, and I are closer than ever before and I share the same closeness with my parents. My children continue to be amazing, beautiful, precious beams of light in my world. My pets continue to provide me daily comfort and amusement. I have gotten to spend amazing time with my "girls"; Brooks, Wendy, Billye, Erica, Kristin, Tiena, and all of those I may have forgotten. And finally, I gained a guardian angel, Abby.
I have realized so much this year, 2013. But 2014 is the year of change and I am READY!!!!
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