Just a couple more days and we are 1/12th done with this year already! It has been a tough couple of weeks, somehow each week is busier than the next? Birthdays are now done (kind of) and solo and ensemble will be done at the end of this week. And Superbowl when the Seahawks WIN on Sunday! It is the constant hub of activity surrounding all these things that throws me and I suppose has for the last twenty years. You know what I mean, it is always "well this week is a bad week, I'll start X next week." And this weather doesn't help a damn bit, can I get an "Amen!"
Each week it is appointments, and dance class, and piano lessons, and big cases, and court days, and, well, there is always something. Some reason not to take care of myself, some reason not to succeed or reach my goals this week. For some, it is the reason not to diet, or quit drinking, for some it is the reason not to go to church or start going to church, and for some it is the reason not to spend time with their family or do that one big thing they have been procrastinating (find a new job, address their broken marriage or broken child, what have you....). For me, it is to quit hibernating and to use my time to take care of business (and by business, I mean taking care of myself).
Yes, I said hibernating, just like a bear but with a TV and not only in the winter. I sleep, I nap, that is the way I deal with my stress. It is embarrassing, but at the end of my workday or mid-weekend day, I nap. It is an escape, a way to allow my brain and my body to unwind with as little effort as possible. Then, like today, I wake up and the only thing I want to do is stay in that bed and watch TV. Have a decaf mocha for dinner and call it a day. For some of you this crutch is drinking, and for the wiser of you, it is exercising, reading, praying, all of the things I want my crutch to be.
My goal for January was to quit this crap, to put healthier outlets in place so my body, mind, and soul would not continue to put the anxiety and stress of each day in a box with a loose lid somewhere else in my mind. I wouldn't say I have failed, but, per usual me, I wouldn't say I've succeeded either.
I am getting there. Slowly working on developing these outlets, but I haven't been great about putting them in place and February brings new goals that must be placed on top of the greatest goal- to start taking care of myself. It will happen, I will do it, because I can...because that is who I am.
I thank those who have been with me so far on this journey. My mom and dad for encouraging me and believing not only that I can do it, but that I will do it. All of you whom have told me how much you like my blogs and to keep it up, all of you that have prayed for me. Jonna for always being my best coach and walking with me.
This journey has only just begun, this month is not over yet, and neither is this night. I will keep up the good fight, despite the challenges this month has brought, this week has yet to bring, and even this night is currently bringing with my children fighting as I write this.
Thank you all... here is to a fabulous rest of the week, a fabulous rest of the month, and BRING IT ON FEBRUARY!!!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
2014- Halfway Through January ALREADY!!!
Well, here it is halfway through January and I'm already slacking off on posting and the promised "more pictures":) I am not going to lie, it has been a TOUGH YEAR ALREADY!!
We started the new school "year" with going back to dance combined with a new employee at work and BAM! UTTER CHAOS! We have been super busy at work which is great, but at the end of the workday I feel like a big stress ball. That really did not bode well for me last week. That dresser, the beginning of all things beautiful and victorious in 2014, still a dresser sitting empty.
BUT... this week I am doing better. I started the week off rough but after a somewhat scary doctor's appointment realized I have to RELAX. Not watch TV, not take a nap, but actively RELAX. That may sound like an oxymoron, but if you know me you understand. I have been reading more, praying more, breathing more, and I actually made it to kickboxing tonight (only because of a couple of AWESOME friends, you know who you are!). I started walking, not for exercise but to de-stress. Walking in the morning, walking at work, walking at night, just walking. It helps a lot for me.
So, until the end of the month I am going to just try to keep taking advantage of more and more healthy outlets. I'm not worrying about training, dieting, etc. I am just trying to take one bad habit and work on it little by little, using the tools at my disposal to help.
Now I'm off to eat a late dinner with my girlies and snuggle in for a little comedy TV and probably a long hot shower to ease some of these sore muscles. Goodnight all!
We started the new school "year" with going back to dance combined with a new employee at work and BAM! UTTER CHAOS! We have been super busy at work which is great, but at the end of the workday I feel like a big stress ball. That really did not bode well for me last week. That dresser, the beginning of all things beautiful and victorious in 2014, still a dresser sitting empty.
BUT... this week I am doing better. I started the week off rough but after a somewhat scary doctor's appointment realized I have to RELAX. Not watch TV, not take a nap, but actively RELAX. That may sound like an oxymoron, but if you know me you understand. I have been reading more, praying more, breathing more, and I actually made it to kickboxing tonight (only because of a couple of AWESOME friends, you know who you are!). I started walking, not for exercise but to de-stress. Walking in the morning, walking at work, walking at night, just walking. It helps a lot for me.
So, until the end of the month I am going to just try to keep taking advantage of more and more healthy outlets. I'm not worrying about training, dieting, etc. I am just trying to take one bad habit and work on it little by little, using the tools at my disposal to help.
Now I'm off to eat a late dinner with my girlies and snuggle in for a little comedy TV and probably a long hot shower to ease some of these sore muscles. Goodnight all!
Saturday, January 4, 2014
2014-Birthday Festivities
My birthday is January 2nd and my Dad has joked I celebrate it for a week:) I had an AWESOME birthday "week" this year. Beautiful cards from friends and family, the day off thanks to my awesome partner, beautiful gifts from my husband and girls, lunch with my mom, dinner with the ladies, mani/pedis with April, a massage from Brooks, a beautiful birthday song from my sister, and lots of sweet texts, calls, and Facebook shout outs!
My birthday is often a bittersweet day because it is the day after New Years. When a lot of us, including me, are dwelling on the resolutions we didn't accomplish the year before and in awe at the big resolutions we have declared for the new year. This year is no different for me, with one exception: I'm done looking back and now I'm looking forward.
I've set the bar high, extremely high, for what I want this year, my 34th year of life. But I am strong, a survivor, a fighter, determined, intelligent, and able to do anything I want to do in this life. Thank you to my parents for teaching me that, and to my friends for continuing to remind me.
As I'm sure it is for a lot of you, it is hard for me to know where to start. I have decided to take the next three weeks to develop a habit, or habits, of finding and using healthy outlets for emotion, stress, anxiety, and worry. That will pave the way for achieving all my other goals this year. It is going to be tough as I am a creature of routine and to create new routines and change old ones is a struggle.
It may sound odd, but I have started with a dresser. A dresser that will hold the things I need for healthy outlets. Workout outfits grouped together, a place for journals, bibles, and books, music, walking shoes, and a place where I can make a list of those healthy outlets and turn to that list several times a day. Tomorrow the dresser will be put together, even if I have to do it myself, and the items will be placed in it. And next year, around this day, I will be excited and proud of all the things I accomplished in 2014 and all the things to come in 2015 and think "it all started with a dresser."
My birthday is often a bittersweet day because it is the day after New Years. When a lot of us, including me, are dwelling on the resolutions we didn't accomplish the year before and in awe at the big resolutions we have declared for the new year. This year is no different for me, with one exception: I'm done looking back and now I'm looking forward.
I've set the bar high, extremely high, for what I want this year, my 34th year of life. But I am strong, a survivor, a fighter, determined, intelligent, and able to do anything I want to do in this life. Thank you to my parents for teaching me that, and to my friends for continuing to remind me.
As I'm sure it is for a lot of you, it is hard for me to know where to start. I have decided to take the next three weeks to develop a habit, or habits, of finding and using healthy outlets for emotion, stress, anxiety, and worry. That will pave the way for achieving all my other goals this year. It is going to be tough as I am a creature of routine and to create new routines and change old ones is a struggle.
It may sound odd, but I have started with a dresser. A dresser that will hold the things I need for healthy outlets. Workout outfits grouped together, a place for journals, bibles, and books, music, walking shoes, and a place where I can make a list of those healthy outlets and turn to that list several times a day. Tomorrow the dresser will be put together, even if I have to do it myself, and the items will be placed in it. And next year, around this day, I will be excited and proud of all the things I accomplished in 2014 and all the things to come in 2015 and think "it all started with a dresser."
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2014-The Year of Change-Day 1
Well HERE WE GO!!! 2014 is going to be the year of change! Like most control freaks I hate change. But for several months I have been thinking a lot about a sermon focused on Surrender that my pastor gave one Sunday. There is also a section in A Purpose Driven Life about surrendering. My favorite quote is you surrender to something, and if it isn't God what is it? I think for me it has been fear, chaos, stress for way too long. In 2014 I want to completely surrender my life to God and not all the negative crap that has ruled me for too long.
Emotionally that means letting go. Letting go of past mistakes, letting go of yesterday, letting go of past hurts. It means addressing those things, feeling that pain, addressing it, and giving it to God. It means daily giving my emotional baggage to God, whatever it may be that day. That means praying, talking it out, walking, meditating, working out, dancing, singing, whatever releases the negative and allows me to focus on the positive and the Lord.
Mentally that means focusing. I do a good job of focusing at work but too many days work follows me home, invades my dreams and sleep, and shadows my time that should be focused on my family, myself, and all the little gems of life that surround us everyday.
Physically that means forgiving myself for the past twenty years neglecting my body and health. Today is only what matters. Eating right, exercising, addressing my health issues, and the list goes on.
Spiritually it means submerging myself in the Lord. In his word, in prayer, in putting him in the drivers seat. I want to miss church less, read more, pray more, thank and trust him more.
Physically how does all of this manifest itself? You will see me happier. You will see me spending more time on my needs and myself. You will see me more at church. I will be reading more- fiction that I love and Christian books. I will be saying "no" more. To others and to myself, to my fears, to stress, to chaos, to negative thinking. I will be walking all the time: in the morning, at work, at night, you name it.
I will be compartmentalizing my work from home. I won't be taking calls from clients after work hours. I won't be discussing work unless I am at work. We will be spending more time together as a family, and less time on electronics in separate rooms of the house.
I will run a 10k and a half-marathon in 2014. It is a tall order, but I am strong and I can and will do it. I will be a mean, lean, kickboxing machine. I will quit smoking, quit skipping meals, quit focusing my meals around junk.
I will start Weight Watchers next week. This week I will workout three times and next week four, and so on. I will most likely need to hire a running coach.
This year will be full of change. Some is unforeseen. But we will be going on vacation for the first time ever when we travel to Disneyland this summer. We will be adding at least one new addition, a Blue Merle Australian Shepherd, to the family. If I can talk Josh into it we may also be adding a new kitten and another Shi Tzu (wish me good luck on those).
Tomorrow I turn 34 years old. It is a bit scary, I'll admit, being so close to 35. But I plan on running a marathon my 35th year and that will keep me on track, motivate me to become healthier in every aspect of my life. Today I got all the lazy out;) But tomorrow will be about me. About exercising and spending time with friends and family and starting this new life.
2014 will be a year of change. But it is time. And I am ready for it.
2014
Emotionally that means letting go. Letting go of past mistakes, letting go of yesterday, letting go of past hurts. It means addressing those things, feeling that pain, addressing it, and giving it to God. It means daily giving my emotional baggage to God, whatever it may be that day. That means praying, talking it out, walking, meditating, working out, dancing, singing, whatever releases the negative and allows me to focus on the positive and the Lord.
Mentally that means focusing. I do a good job of focusing at work but too many days work follows me home, invades my dreams and sleep, and shadows my time that should be focused on my family, myself, and all the little gems of life that surround us everyday.
Physically that means forgiving myself for the past twenty years neglecting my body and health. Today is only what matters. Eating right, exercising, addressing my health issues, and the list goes on.
Spiritually it means submerging myself in the Lord. In his word, in prayer, in putting him in the drivers seat. I want to miss church less, read more, pray more, thank and trust him more.
Physically how does all of this manifest itself? You will see me happier. You will see me spending more time on my needs and myself. You will see me more at church. I will be reading more- fiction that I love and Christian books. I will be saying "no" more. To others and to myself, to my fears, to stress, to chaos, to negative thinking. I will be walking all the time: in the morning, at work, at night, you name it.
I will be compartmentalizing my work from home. I won't be taking calls from clients after work hours. I won't be discussing work unless I am at work. We will be spending more time together as a family, and less time on electronics in separate rooms of the house.
I will run a 10k and a half-marathon in 2014. It is a tall order, but I am strong and I can and will do it. I will be a mean, lean, kickboxing machine. I will quit smoking, quit skipping meals, quit focusing my meals around junk.
I will start Weight Watchers next week. This week I will workout three times and next week four, and so on. I will most likely need to hire a running coach.
This year will be full of change. Some is unforeseen. But we will be going on vacation for the first time ever when we travel to Disneyland this summer. We will be adding at least one new addition, a Blue Merle Australian Shepherd, to the family. If I can talk Josh into it we may also be adding a new kitten and another Shi Tzu (wish me good luck on those).
Tomorrow I turn 34 years old. It is a bit scary, I'll admit, being so close to 35. But I plan on running a marathon my 35th year and that will keep me on track, motivate me to become healthier in every aspect of my life. Today I got all the lazy out;) But tomorrow will be about me. About exercising and spending time with friends and family and starting this new life.
2014 will be a year of change. But it is time. And I am ready for it.
2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)