So... as many of you know I am friends with an individual at the center of the Ron Stone scandal at Wenatchee High School. For those who don't know, Ron Stone was the head boy's basketball coach at WHS. His assistant coach was Brandon Hobson. For the sake of privacy (as if any is left in this situation), we will call my friend PLAYER'S MOM and her son PLAYER.
Several weeks ago, a text conversation happened between Ron Stone and Mr. Hobson. Here is how it went:
RS: PLAYER'S MOM please bend over
BH: ... and just take it like a bad girl!
RS: I swear to you she came in the room to talk to me about PLAYER.... She has put on a bit of weight.
BH: Agree! More cushin for the pushin!
One of the coaches (I think Mr. Hobson) left his phone in the locker room plugged into a charger (I think it was a player's phone charger but not sure). Some of the players saw it and read through his texts. Once they found the texts they either took a picture of them or forwarded them to themselves. Then, they forwarded them to the entire school. This happened on a Saturday night and the texts literally went viral by Monday morning.
PHASE I of the incident:
Did these men mean to harm anyone with these comments? I doubt it.
Did they mean for anyone to ever see them? Surely not.
Should the boys ever have dug through anyone's phone? Absolutely not.
BUT... THEY DID.
These comments never should be spoken, much less put in writing, about any woman, especially when you are a coach and you are speaking about a player's mother.
If you lack the judgment to put things like this down in writing, you better make damn sure anyone involved in the conversation deletes it.
If you lack the judgment to put things like this in texts, keep your phone on you. In your pocket, in your jacket, in your bag, in your vehicle-- but not out in the open where a bunch of teenage boys can look through your phone (as we all know, teenagers will certainly take advantage of such a situation).
PLAYER and his brother get to school on Monday and are mobbed by students asking them about the texts regarding their mother. They are angry, they are devastated, and they are embarrassed. They are disappointed and hurt by two men whom were role models to them, father figures to them, whom they trusted. Their teammates did not come to them with the texts, instead they forwarded them around the entire school. The WHS administration learns of the texts, but does not alert PLAYER'S MOTHER.
Phase II of the incident:
Should the players that spread the texts be punished? Yes, and they were.
Should the coaches have immediately notified the mother and apologized? Yes, but they didn't.
Should the principal have immediately notified the mother? Yes, but he didn't.
PLAYER goes to basketball practice that evening, confused as to what to do. PLAYER'S teammates make fun of him all practice. PLAYER is scared to tell his mom about the inappropriate comments, but finally does Monday evening.
PLAYER'S MOM calls the principal Tuesday morning, who already knows what she is calling about. Principal apologizes. PLAYER'S MOM is, of course, furious but is most concerned about her sons. PLAYER'S MOM does not start a campaign to get these coaches fired, she assumes the administration will do the right thing. Ron Stone and Brandon Hobson are placed on administrative leave for approximately one week. THEN THEY ARE REINSTATED. PLAYER quits, as it has just been implied to him that he doesn't matter and the administration doesn't care what the coaches did to him. Again, PLAYER'S MOM does not attend a school board meeting and demand Ron Stone be fired, she turns her attention to her sons.
Brandon Hobson has the guts and morals to resign his position. Bryan Worley is asked by Ron Stone to coach spring ball and pulls Bryan's son up to varsity.
Coach Stone's contract comes up and the principal (doing the right thing) declines to renew it. Coach Stone is not fired, the principal has the discretion to renew any coach's contract with or without reason. Coach Stone's coaching career has been plagued by problems with assistant coaches, athletic directors, players, and players' parents. Two years ago there was a petition to have him removed signed by the entire varsity basketball team, it was ignored. Coach Stone formerly coached girl's basketball.
Bryan Worley starts a Facebook and text campaign stating Coach Stone was "fired" because PLAYER'S MOM threatened to sue the administration over the incident. This campaign is propagated by the Wenatchee High School Boy's Basketball Facebook page. His campaign commands everyone to show up to the school board meeting 3/25 (last night) and "Rally and get this wrong act reversed. We cannot allow PLAYER'S MOM to control the outcome of all our kids future." Keep in mind Worley personally benefited from Coach Stone and the incident. This is further victimization of PLAYER'S MOM and PLAYER, who are just trying to get on with their lives. No lawsuit was ever filed and PLAYER'S MOM had no input into Ron Stone's future as a coach, or clearly he never would have been reinstated in the first place.
PLAYER'S MOM does not want to show up at the school board meeting because she will be attacked and ostracized and no one will hear her side of the story. So I went instead.
There were about 30-40 people at the school board meeting. I overheard the principal telling someone 80% of the attendees were there because of the Ron Stone scandal. There were six total people signed up to speak, of which I was one.
Mr. Hobson was first and cried about how Ron Stone was a great coach whom had never been supported by the administration, players, parents, or other coaches (well that should tell you something right there). He quoted from Footlose (really?) and urged the School Board to reconsider.
Next came a guy who had known Ron for a very long time, since high school, and equated the grief he felt over the principal's decision to the grief he felt for his brother that had just died from cancer (really?).
A player's parents got up and said their son originally said he wouldn't play for Ron Stone (gee, I wonder why?) but had grown to admire and respect Coach Stone and, again, asked the board to reconsider the decision.
Then came me. I said what I could blurt out in my 3 minutes. Who I was, that PLAYER'S MOM had told me she never threatened to sue the district and as an attorney, I couldn't think of what she would be able to sue for anyways. I tried to describe the hell she and her sons had been put through, that she was being further victimized by Mr. Worley's campaign and that she had wide support in this community and others. I thanked Coach Hobson for resigning, because it was the right thing to do. Probably a lot of other stuff I don't remember, but I DIDN'T GET TO READ ALOUD THE TEXT MESSAGES. I would guess that 90% of Coach Stone's supporters have no idea what they say.
After I spoke I left as I didn't want to hear what the two people after me had to say. I was approached by a really nice guy that told me he agreed with me 100% and described his decades of observations of Coach Stone (he had nothing nice to say, believe me). Unfortunately, just as we were wrapping up our conversation the public comment section was over and everyone was leaving. As I was walking out the door, two teenage girls (pretty sure they were Coach Stone's daughters) started yelling at me to "get my facts straight" and that those texts were stolen from him and how would I like my texts sent out to everyone? One of the girls was quite charged up and the other one was dragging her off like she was breaking up a bar brawl. I tried to speak my peace, that I did have my facts straight and I wouldn't have been stupid enough to leave my phone out like that, but a smart man told us all here was not the place.
To her I say: I'm sorry. You and your family must be going through hell too because of your father's actions. But they were your father's actions, he did them to himself, and he is not the victim. I will pray for your family and your father. But if history has taught us anything, one big mistake can destroy an otherwise amazing career and reputation. Coach Stone committed that one big mistake, and now he has to face responsibility and take ownership of the consequences of that mistake.
It is time for this to be OVER for PLAYER'S MOM and PLAYER. It is also time for this to be over for all the coaches and players involved. It is time to learn from what happened, move on, and heal.
I did not stand up for this person because I consider her a friend. I stood up for her because what happened to her was wrong in every way. Because I believe women should be treated with respect, even in a conversation two men intend to be kept private. Because I believe coaches and educators should be role models and mentors to our youth. Because I don't ever want to be spoken about in that way and I don't ever want my daughters to be spoken about in that way, coached by a man who speaks that way, or date a boy who speaks that way. Because I am a Wenatchee School District parent, a resident of Wenatchee, a voter in Wenatchee, and a woman. And finally, because I don't ever want those two men around my daughters, EVER.
