My time, my beautiful valuable time...

...Is too often wasted by stupid people and stupid things.  I am done, I am taking my time back.  I found a quote today that was SO awesome:

"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage...pleasantly, smiling, nonapologetically...to say 'no' to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside." - Stephen Covey
So not all the things I'll be saying no to are stupid, nor the people.  But I notice for the most part, most people do not perceive my time as valuable.  I charge quite a lot for my time at work, so sometimes I think "Geez, that doctor's office that kept me waiting an hour owes me $200!"  But then I realize, it's a doctor's office.  So I will wait, because it's the doctor's office, and it isn't the receptionist's fault and maybe not even the doctor's :)

BUT... for the rest of "the people".  I'm done.  You have a finite amount of my time that I will choose to give to you..  If you don't take it when I offer it to you, too bad, you don't get any.  I think this is a relatively simple principal.  I may even tell you how much of my time you get, 5 minutes? 10 minutes? 2 minutes? etc.  If you say you are going to show up and I waste my time waiting for you, you probably aren't going to get more than a second chance.

I will also try, very hard, to be respectful of everyone else's time.  I will try REALLY HARD not to be late, not to drone on or ramble, and call you when I say I'm going to call you or show up when I say I'm going to show up. 

Your problems are not my problems.  I have plenty of problems already.   If I choose to help you with your problems, it is my choice.  If you shove your problems onto me, that is wasting my time, and that is going to piss me off.  And now, I'm going to say NO.

This really doesn't apply to my close friends and family because they know if they ever need anything, even my time, I will give it to them.  BUT, I am going to start putting my phone on Do Not Disturb quite a bit.  So if you need to get in touch with me, you can ask me for our home phone number and I'll give it to you (if you are close friends or family).  But if you call me about some legal issue and you aren't calling from jail your telephone privileges are going to be taken away:)

And yes, Dad, this post may seem "angry" to you.  It is in a way.  However, I'm also excited for this realization!  It means more time for the things I need and love, and less time for the things I don't.  So if you catch me letting others waste my time, sternly tell me NO.

love, a

This is All About ME!

All this time I was finding myself... and I didn't know I was lost.  So says the song.  I think that is really what this blog, this year, my life right now, is about.  For twenty years, fighting to survive, thrive, accomplish, be a good mother, provider, wife, daughter, friend, attorney.  Where was I?  Just remnants of me remained (remain?) in the fog of battle, chaos, and busyness. 

At some point many of us are in the middle of our careers, middle-aged, or surrounded by children yelling Mommy! Mommy!  Even empty-nesters... all looking around and asking themselves "what happened to me?  Where am I?" 

Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother and I'm a damn good one.  My children encourage me to find who I am, not discourage it.  But it is easy, as a mom, to hide in that role or be overwhelmed by it and lose site of who you are.  And in all the other roles as well... to get caught up in your "role" and lose site of your core, your truth, who "you" are. 

Sometimes it is a bad marriage, a life tragedy, a life event, or a miserable job that we allow to fog our vision of us.  We allow someone else or something else to temporarily define us, and lose sight of who we really are.  Do you know who you are?  Do you REALLY know? 

The song also says "tried to carry the weight of the world, but I only had two hands."  Boy do I know how that feels.  At some point that weight overcomes you and you crumble to the ground.  At the beginning of the year I tried to describe what that looked like for me.  Unhealthy and unhappy...lost.

What have I learned in six months? 

I'm an athlete and I'm proud of it.  I may not look it yet, but I will, have no doubt. It is okay to love to run.  Who cares if I'm not the fastest or if it is bad on your joints.  Know what else is bad on your joints?  Being fat.

It is okay to be proud and honest of how much you rock!  I'm a great attorney!  And I'm sick of letting others on occasion waste my time or put me down because they think THEY are the lawyer.  I'm slowly learning how to take my time back from these assholes.

Faith is my core.  I want more than anything else to glorify God by others recognizing him through me.  I have a lot to learn and the journey to amazing faith is incredibly difficult.  But if it is your core, it is your truth and you must walk through hell for it.

Truth is my core.  I will call you on your bullshit.  If you don't like it, there is the door.  I don't have time or space in my life or incredibly big heart for posers.  I CANNOT stand those that preach love truth and respect and living life and all that crap and then turn around and walk away when you call them on their crap.  Forget it, not worth the hassle and not people I want to surround myself with.

I am passionate and loyal.  That comes through in my friendships.  I am an amazing friend because I am full of passion and loyalty--because I run high emotionally.  But, I also have unrealistic expectations for people, especially friends, because of the same core traits.  Alexis has gotten this from me.  So sometimes I have to let people go even though it hurts my heart.  And sometimes I have to just cut friends some slack.

Respect and Integrity are my core.  If you say you will do something, do it.  Don't do something you'd be afraid to admit to your children, to your parents, to God.  Karma is a bitch and I've seen it slap some people around something fierce!

I am a spitfire.  I have a terrible temper.  It can be rather amusing but can also get me in hot water fast.  But it is part of who I am and must be accepted by me and those that love me.

My priorities are clear:  God, family, friends, everything else. 

I have ignored Me for many years.  No one could blame me.  But now it is time, time for finding me.

2014- April Showers Bring May Flowers

Well March ended with a bang!  Especially awesome was the Wenatchee World posting a link to my blog, making the entire thing public!  So I may have some new readers I suppose?

The first quarter of the year is over, wow time flies! And WOW has the weather improved! Soccer has started back up again, spring break is over, and the two week break from dance flew by.  The spring is full of events, starting with this crazy week.

I re-read all my posts since the beginning of the year and that was really good for me.  It has helped me to re-focus on my goals and desires for the year.  I have really ramped up my running, but of course got injured, and am now under constant scrutiny by my chiropractor;) I will continue to run and I WILL run that half marathon this year, even if I have to crawl over the finish line! I have one or two runs planned for each month except this one, the 10k.  It is ahead of my training schedule but I'm not planning on running the whole thing anyways.  I'm also planning on slowly adding some other elements to my training. 

As far as my relationship with God, I am working on it.  I have missed way more church than I am comfortable with but we had a good family meeting about it.  I am slowly reading a great book, although it is a little over my head.  I have to read each chapter twice and often go back and review all the previous chapters. 

My work on my "outlets" has sucked, but I will change that and I will change that now.  Looking back, I remember why it is so important to my health to do so.  My Dad called this week and his numbers (cholesterol, etc.) are WAY better than mine.  Not for long daddy!  The rest of this crazy busy week is going to be focused on outlets, especially walking and praying.  I so often neglect this much needed time for me.

So hear is to April!  It may bring some showers, but we will reap the rewards with the May flowers (both literally and metaphorically speaking:))

The WHS Basketball Coach Story and What Happened Last Night (Not for the faint of heart)

So... as many of you know I am friends with an individual at the center of the Ron Stone scandal at Wenatchee High School.  For those who don't know, Ron Stone was the head boy's basketball coach at WHS.  His assistant coach was Brandon Hobson.  For the sake of privacy (as if any is left in this situation), we will call my friend PLAYER'S MOM and her son PLAYER.

Several weeks ago, a text conversation happened between Ron Stone and Mr. Hobson.  Here is how it went:

RS:  PLAYER'S MOM please bend over

BH:  ... and just take it like a bad girl!

RS:  I swear to you she came in the room to talk to me about PLAYER.... She has put on a bit of weight.

BH:  Agree!  More cushin for the pushin!

One of the coaches (I think Mr. Hobson) left his phone in the locker room plugged into a charger (I think it was a player's phone charger but not sure).  Some of the players saw it and read through his texts.  Once they found the texts they either took a picture of them or forwarded them to themselves.  Then, they forwarded them to the entire school.  This happened on a Saturday night and the texts literally went viral by Monday morning.

PHASE I of the incident: 
Did these men mean to harm anyone with these comments?  I doubt it.
Did they mean for anyone to ever see them?  Surely not.
Should the boys ever have dug through anyone's phone?  Absolutely not.

BUT... THEY DID.

These comments never should be spoken, much less put in writing, about any woman, especially when you are a coach and you are speaking about a player's mother.

If you lack the judgment to put things like this down in writing, you better make damn sure anyone involved in the conversation deletes it.

If you lack the judgment to put things like this in texts, keep your phone on you.  In your pocket, in your jacket, in your bag, in your vehicle-- but not out in the open where a bunch of teenage boys can look through your phone (as we all know, teenagers will certainly take advantage of such a situation).

PLAYER and his brother get to school on Monday and are mobbed by students asking them about the texts regarding their mother.  They are angry, they are devastated, and they are embarrassed.  They are disappointed and hurt by two men whom were role models to them, father figures to them, whom they trusted.  Their teammates did not come to them with the texts, instead they forwarded them around the entire school.  The WHS administration learns of the texts, but does not alert PLAYER'S MOTHER.

Phase II of the incident:
Should the players that spread the texts be punished?  Yes, and they were.
Should the coaches have immediately notified the mother and apologized?  Yes, but they didn't.
Should the principal have immediately notified the mother?  Yes, but he didn't.

PLAYER goes to basketball practice that evening, confused as to what to do.  PLAYER'S teammates make fun of him all practice.  PLAYER is scared to tell his mom about the inappropriate comments, but finally does Monday evening.

PLAYER'S MOM calls the principal Tuesday morning, who already knows what she is calling about.  Principal apologizes.  PLAYER'S MOM is, of course, furious but is most concerned about her sons.  PLAYER'S MOM does not start a campaign to get these coaches fired, she assumes the administration will do the right thing.  Ron Stone and Brandon Hobson are placed on administrative leave for approximately one week.  THEN THEY ARE REINSTATED.  PLAYER quits, as it has just been implied to him that he doesn't matter and the administration doesn't care what the coaches did to him. Again, PLAYER'S MOM does not attend a school board meeting and demand Ron Stone be fired, she turns her attention to her sons.

Brandon Hobson has the guts and morals to resign his position.  Bryan Worley is asked by Ron Stone to coach spring ball and pulls Bryan's son up to varsity.

Coach Stone's contract comes up and the principal (doing the right thing) declines to renew it.  Coach Stone is not fired, the principal has the discretion to renew any coach's contract with or without reason.  Coach Stone's coaching career has been plagued by problems with assistant coaches, athletic directors, players, and players' parents.  Two years ago there was a petition to have him removed signed by the entire varsity basketball team, it was ignored.  Coach Stone formerly coached girl's basketball.

Bryan Worley starts a Facebook and text campaign stating Coach Stone was "fired" because PLAYER'S MOM threatened to sue the administration over the incident.  This campaign is propagated by the Wenatchee High School Boy's Basketball Facebook page.  His campaign commands everyone to show up to the school board meeting 3/25 (last night) and "Rally and get this wrong act reversed.  We cannot allow PLAYER'S MOM to control the outcome of all our kids future."  Keep in mind Worley personally benefited from Coach Stone and the incident.  This is further victimization of PLAYER'S MOM and PLAYER, who are just trying to get on with their lives.  No lawsuit was ever filed and PLAYER'S MOM had no input into Ron Stone's future as a coach, or clearly he never would have been reinstated in the first place.

PLAYER'S MOM does not want to show up at the school board meeting because she will be attacked and ostracized and no one will hear her side of the story.  So I went instead.

There were about 30-40 people at the school board meeting. I overheard the principal telling someone 80% of the attendees were there because of the Ron Stone scandal.  There were six total people signed up to speak, of which I was one.

Mr. Hobson was first and cried about how Ron Stone was a great coach whom had never been supported by the administration, players, parents, or other coaches (well that should tell you something right there).  He quoted from Footlose (really?) and urged the School Board to reconsider.

Next came a guy who had known Ron for a very long time, since high school, and equated the grief he felt over the principal's decision to the grief he felt for his brother that had just died from cancer (really?).

A player's parents got up and said their son originally said he wouldn't play for Ron Stone (gee, I wonder why?) but had grown to admire and respect Coach Stone and, again, asked the board to reconsider the decision.

Then came me.  I said what I could blurt out in my 3 minutes.  Who I was, that PLAYER'S MOM had told me she never threatened to sue the district and as an attorney, I couldn't think of what she would be able to sue for anyways.  I tried to describe the hell she and her sons had been put through, that she was being further victimized by Mr. Worley's campaign and that she had wide support in this community and others.  I thanked Coach Hobson for resigning, because it was the right thing to do.  Probably a lot of other stuff I don't remember, but I DIDN'T GET TO READ ALOUD THE TEXT MESSAGES.  I would guess that 90% of Coach Stone's supporters have no idea what they say. 

After I spoke I left as I didn't want to hear what the two people after me had to say.  I was approached by a really nice guy that told me he agreed with me 100% and described his decades of observations of Coach Stone (he had nothing nice to say, believe me).  Unfortunately, just as we were wrapping up our conversation the public comment section was over and everyone was leaving.  As I was walking out the door, two teenage girls (pretty sure they were Coach Stone's daughters) started yelling at me to "get my facts straight" and that those texts were stolen from him and how would I like my texts sent out to everyone?  One of the girls was quite charged up and the other one was dragging her off like she was breaking up a bar brawl.  I tried to speak my peace, that I did have my facts straight and I wouldn't have been stupid enough to leave my phone out like that, but a smart man told us all here was not the place. 

To her I say:  I'm sorry.  You and your family must be going through hell too because of your father's actions.  But they were your father's actions, he did them to himself, and he is not the victim.  I will pray for your family and your father.  But if history has taught us anything, one big mistake can destroy an otherwise amazing career and reputation.  Coach Stone committed that one big mistake, and now he has to face responsibility and take ownership of the consequences of that mistake. 

It is time for this to be OVER for PLAYER'S MOM and PLAYER.  It is also time for this to be over for all the coaches and players involved.  It is time to learn from what happened, move on, and heal. 

I did not stand up for this person because I consider her a friend.  I stood up for her because what happened to her was wrong in every way.  Because I believe women should be treated with respect, even in a conversation two men intend to be kept private.  Because I believe coaches and educators should be role models and mentors to our youth.  Because I don't ever want to be spoken about in that way and I don't ever want my daughters to be spoken about in that way, coached by a man who speaks that way, or date a boy who speaks that way.  Because I am a Wenatchee School District parent, a resident of Wenatchee, a voter in Wenatchee, and a woman.  And finally, because I don't ever want those two men around my daughters, EVER. 

2014- The Ides of March

I don't really get what the Ides of March means.  I googled it and I still don't get it.  But it does correspond with my Dad's birthday, ha ha!  The last two weeks have been focused on.... RUNNING!  I am getting caught up on my training and hope to be fully caught up by the end of this month.  This last weekend was truly inspirational.

We traveled to Coeur 'D' Alene (or however you spell it) for Alexis' Regional Dance Competition.  She did amazing, as did all dancers from Dance Creations.  The teachers at that studio and the director are clearly TALENTED.  One of the judges was/is the main choreographer on America's Got Talent and as I was sitting there watching DC dance after dance I realized a lot of our studio's dancers are good enough to not only audition for that show, but make it quite a ways.  A lot of these girls have suffered injuries and surgeries this past year, one was dancing with a knee brace.  It was amazing.  It taught me that, even though these girls are 1/2 my age, if you dedicate yourself to something and condition your body right, you can do it.  Sure many of them have natural talent, but talent without dedication and the right coaching= nothing.  Just as I am NOT a natural runner (I quit track in middle school after the first day) I am dedicated, I will be coached, and I will condition my body right.  And now the weather is even cooperating!

Using my outlets is going okay.  I should've used them more over the past couple of weeks but this week I will use them like crazy because it is going to be a crazy week.  Tomorrow my baby turns 9 years old!  This weekend we will be celebrating with parties AND she is in a pageant.  Josh starts symphony rehearsal for the LAST CONCERT OF THE SEASON THANK YOU GOD! Soccer will start soon and we are now going to be gearing up for April happenings:  the concert, the Wenatchee Marathon (10k for me), Easter, spring break, etc.

May, June, and July will be very busy.  Soccer, recital, Apple Blossom, several runs, end of school and all that comes with it, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and the National Competition in July and Disneyland. 

BUT...one week at a time:)  Bring on this week! Love to you all!

Arianna

2014-Almost done with February! And winter has arrived...wait, what?

The Olympics are over and the end of February is near.  And I just have to say, the weather has not cooperated at all this year.  Oh how I long for the spring!!!  We keep getting all this pretend snow that doesn't stick and not enough sunshine. 

As we near the end of February, I've been thinking a lot about my goals.  I have definitely made steps to accomplishing them, but not yet accomplished all I've wanted to at this point. It is funny how life throws you curveballs when you least expect them.  Our household has been sick, and I mean sick, throughout the entire month.  We all got the nasty cold, and then the stomach flu.  I haven't been moving as much as I'd like, but I did go on my first official training run.  I've got my schedule set out up until my half-marathon and have at least contacted a running coach.  I plan on going on a run every day this week and am going to really focus on my running for the next three weeks.

I have been doing a good job on my outlets.  I've been reading, singing, and listening to music to help wind down.  I'm not sure everyone in the house appreciates my singing but that's okay:)  I have also been doing a good job the last week just giving stuff to God.  I've realized that my passion and emotion are great things, but they get in the way and make things harder for me often and it is time to start putting them to use where they do some good.  I have often thought my goal for my work was to be able to get through my work days without my blood pressure going sky high multiple times a day.  I'm getting there.

I'm not so sure that Weight Watchers will be the way I handle my nutrition.  It is a great program, but it adds a lot to your life to do and that may not be most effective for me with our family's schedule.  I think it is a lot like quitting smoking.  You think that doing it right all at once is the best, but it isn't for me.  I'm going to start focusing on just one thing, and reducing my smoking by one cigarette, per week.  At the end of March, I will see where I am and if that isn't working, I'll do something else.

I am most looking forward to walking, walking everywhere and a lot.  The snow has given me lots of excuses not to do it, but I've realized I am so much more productive in achieving my goals if I am moving in any way.  I've got the necessary equipment, so don't laugh at me if you see me walking around with my earmuffs, gloves, bundled up beyond all recognition.  I plan on really ramping up my exercise in March.  Focusing not only on moving and running, but getting back to kickboxing and in the middle of March, back to dancing. 

The past 7 or 8 weeks I've realized a lot of patterns in my days and weeks as far as when I am most stressed and when I need to use outlets for that stress, even if I don't realize it at the time.  I may feel fine after a really emotional hearing or something big happening in a case, but I still need the ten minutes of walking, a run, or something for that emotion and/or stress or it will bite me in the butt later that day or week.  I've also realized that I need to workout every day, it just makes me feel SO much better. 

So here is to the last week of February and the beginning of March!  Let's do this!

2014- Almost to February!

Just  a couple more days and we are 1/12th done with this year already!  It has been a tough couple of weeks, somehow each week is busier than the next?  Birthdays are now done (kind of) and solo and ensemble will be done at the end of this week.  And Superbowl when the Seahawks WIN on Sunday!  It is the constant hub of activity surrounding all these things that throws me and I suppose has for the last twenty years.  You know what I mean, it is always "well this week is a bad week, I'll start X next week."  And this weather doesn't help a damn bit, can I get an "Amen!" 

Each week it is appointments, and dance class, and piano lessons, and big cases, and court days, and, well, there is always something.  Some reason not to take care of myself, some reason not to succeed or reach my goals this week.  For some, it is the reason not to diet, or quit drinking, for some it is the reason not to go to church or start going to church, and for some it is the reason not to spend time with their family or do that one big thing they have been procrastinating (find a new job, address their broken marriage or broken child, what have you....).  For me, it is to quit hibernating and to use my time to take care of business (and by business, I mean taking care of myself). 

Yes, I said hibernating, just like a bear but with a TV and not only in the winter.  I sleep, I nap, that is the way I deal with my stress.  It is embarrassing, but at the end of my workday or mid-weekend day, I nap.  It is an escape, a way to allow my brain and my body to unwind with as little effort as possible.  Then, like today, I wake up and the only thing I want to do is stay in that bed and watch TV.  Have a decaf mocha for dinner and call it a day.  For some of you this crutch is drinking, and for the wiser of you, it is exercising, reading, praying, all of the things I want my crutch to be. 

My goal for January was to quit this crap, to put healthier outlets in place so my body, mind, and soul would not continue to put the anxiety and stress of each day in a box with a loose lid somewhere else in my mind.  I wouldn't say I have failed, but, per usual me, I wouldn't say I've succeeded either. 

I am getting there.  Slowly working on developing these outlets, but I haven't been great about putting them in place and February brings new goals that must be placed on top of the greatest goal- to start taking care of myself.  It will happen, I will do it, because I can...because that is who I am. 

I thank those who have been with me so far on this journey.  My mom and dad for encouraging me and believing not only that I can do it, but that I will do it.  All of you whom have told me how much you like my blogs and to keep it up, all of you that have prayed for me.  Jonna for always being my best coach and walking with me.

This journey has only just begun, this month is not over yet, and neither is this night.  I will keep up the good fight, despite the challenges this month has brought, this week has yet to bring, and even this night is currently bringing with my children fighting as I write this. 

Thank you all... here is to a fabulous rest of the week, a fabulous rest of the month, and BRING IT ON FEBRUARY!!!

2014- Halfway Through January ALREADY!!!

Well, here it is halfway through January and I'm already slacking off on posting and the promised "more pictures":)  I am not going to lie, it has been a TOUGH YEAR ALREADY!!

We started the new school "year" with going back to dance combined with a new employee at work and BAM!  UTTER CHAOS!  We have been super busy at work which is great, but at the end of the workday I feel like a big stress ball. That really did not bode well for me last week.  That dresser, the beginning of all things beautiful and victorious in 2014, still a dresser sitting empty.

BUT... this week I am doing better.  I started the week off rough but after a somewhat scary doctor's appointment realized I have to RELAX.  Not watch TV, not take a nap, but actively RELAX.  That may sound like an oxymoron, but if you know me you understand.  I have been reading more, praying more, breathing more, and I actually made it to kickboxing tonight (only because of a couple of AWESOME friends, you know who you are!).  I started walking, not for exercise but to de-stress.  Walking in the morning, walking at work, walking at night, just walking.  It helps a lot for me. 

So, until the end of the month I am going to just try to keep taking advantage of more and more healthy outlets.  I'm not worrying about training, dieting, etc.  I am just trying to take one bad habit and work on it little by little, using the tools at my disposal to help. 

Now I'm off to eat a late dinner with my girlies and snuggle in for a little comedy TV and probably a long hot shower to ease some of these sore muscles.  Goodnight all!

2014-Birthday Festivities

My birthday is January 2nd and my Dad has joked I celebrate it for a week:)  I had an AWESOME birthday "week" this year.  Beautiful cards from friends and family, the day off thanks to my awesome partner, beautiful gifts from my husband and girls, lunch with my mom, dinner with the ladies, mani/pedis with April, a massage from Brooks, a beautiful birthday song from my sister, and lots of sweet texts, calls, and Facebook shout outs! 

My birthday is often a bittersweet day because it is the day after New Years.  When a lot of us, including me, are dwelling on the resolutions we didn't accomplish the year before and in awe at the big resolutions we have declared for the new year.  This year is no different for me, with one exception:  I'm done looking back and now I'm looking forward. 

I've set the bar high, extremely high, for what I want this year, my 34th year of life.  But I am strong, a survivor, a fighter, determined, intelligent, and able to do anything I want to do in this life.  Thank you to my parents for teaching me that, and to my friends for continuing to remind me. 

As I'm sure it is for a lot of you, it is hard for me to know where to start.  I have decided to take the next three weeks to develop a habit, or habits, of finding and using healthy outlets for emotion, stress, anxiety, and worry.  That will pave the way for achieving all my other goals this year.  It is going to be tough as I am a creature of routine and to create new routines and change old ones is a struggle.

It may sound odd, but I have started with a dresser.  A dresser that will hold the things I need for healthy outlets.  Workout outfits grouped together, a place for journals, bibles, and books, music, walking shoes, and a place where I can make a list of those healthy outlets and turn to that list several times a day.  Tomorrow the dresser will be put together, even if I have to do it myself, and the items will be placed in it.  And next year, around this day, I will be excited and proud of all the things I accomplished in 2014 and all the things to come in 2015 and think "it all started with a dresser."

2014-The Year of Change-Day 1

Well HERE WE GO!!!  2014 is going to be the year of change!  Like most control freaks I hate change.  But for several months I have been thinking a lot about a sermon focused on Surrender that my pastor gave one Sunday.  There is also a section in A Purpose Driven Life about surrendering.  My favorite quote is you surrender to something, and if it isn't God what is it?  I think for me it has been fear, chaos, stress for way too long.  In 2014 I want to completely surrender my life to God and not all the negative crap that has ruled me for too long. 

Emotionally that means letting go.  Letting go of past mistakes, letting go of yesterday, letting go of past hurts.  It means addressing those things, feeling that pain, addressing it, and giving it to God.  It means daily giving my emotional baggage to God, whatever it may be that day.  That means praying, talking it out, walking, meditating, working out, dancing, singing, whatever releases the negative and allows me to focus on the positive and the Lord.

Mentally that means focusing.  I do a good job of focusing at work but too many days work follows me home, invades my dreams and sleep, and shadows my time that should be focused on my family, myself, and all the little gems of life that surround us everyday. 

Physically that means forgiving myself for the past twenty years neglecting my body and health.  Today is only what matters.  Eating right, exercising, addressing my health issues, and the list goes on. 

Spiritually it means submerging myself in the Lord.  In his word, in prayer, in putting him in the drivers seat.  I want to miss church less, read more, pray more, thank and trust him more. 

Physically how does all of this manifest itself?  You will see me happier.  You will see me spending more time on my needs and myself.  You will see me more at church.  I will be reading more- fiction that I love and Christian books.  I will be saying "no" more.  To others and to myself, to my fears, to stress, to chaos, to negative thinking.  I will be walking all the time: in the morning, at work, at night, you name it.

 I will be compartmentalizing my work from home.  I won't be taking calls from clients after work hours.  I won't be discussing work unless I am at work.  We will be spending more time together as a family, and less time on electronics in separate rooms of the house.

I will run a 10k and a half-marathon in 2014.  It is a tall order, but I am strong and I can and will do it.  I will be a mean, lean, kickboxing machine.  I will quit smoking, quit skipping meals, quit focusing my meals around junk. 

I will start Weight Watchers next week.  This week I will workout three times and next week four, and so on.  I will most likely need to hire a running coach. 

This year will be full of change.  Some is unforeseen.  But we will be going on vacation for the first time ever when we travel to Disneyland this summer.  We will be adding at least one new addition, a Blue Merle Australian Shepherd, to the family.  If I can talk Josh into it we may also be adding a new kitten and another Shi Tzu (wish me good luck on those). 

Tomorrow I turn 34 years old.  It is a bit scary, I'll admit, being so close to 35.  But I plan on running a marathon my 35th year and that will keep me on track, motivate me to become healthier in every aspect of my life.   Today I got all the lazy out;)  But tomorrow will be about me.  About exercising and spending time with friends and family and starting this new life.

2014 will be a year of change.  But it is time.  And I am ready for it.

2014